Reflections

This week has been blissfully quiet. It is the week of National Holiday, and most of the students have gone home to exchange their summer clothes for winter wear. There are still some students on campus, but no loudspeakers, no waves of students swarming by on their way to classes or the dining hall, and much fewer motorbikes and cars.

This week with the quiet and the extra time (no classes!), I have been doing a lot of thinking. In this past month, I have been basically in the business of survival. But now that I can get around the grocery store, know how slowly I need to talk for my students to understand me, and have purchased all the basic office supplies, my mind is beginning to turn to more important things.

How do I assess my student’s learning? Am I spending too much time with the other foreigners? How can I get to know my students better? What am I supposed to be reading for that master’s degree? Should I be cooking more vegetables? And how am I going to get past my 3-word Chinese vocabulary? Shouldn’t I be more effective than this?

Some people are afraid because they wonder if life has a purpose, if they are here for a reason. Right now I am afraid because my life seems to have too much purpose. I’m not sure if it’s pride or foolish insanity, but I keep trying to put the responsibility of the world on my shoulders. Yes, I am here for a reason, but it has nothing to do with how much "effectiveness" I can work up. I just have to keep telling myself that.

The One who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.