Birthday Party

Two weeks ago: My student asked me to come to his birthday party. This student, one of my English name failures, used to be Kucdy and now is Biby. Sometimes you just can’t win.

This week: On one of his rare appearances in class, he asked once again if I would be able to come. “I will call you on Friday,” he said.

Thursday, 10:00pm: Biby called to say that he would call tomorrow at 4pm to say he was leaving Guang Ling campus and coming to pick me up.

Friday, 10:00am: He called to say that he would call today at 4pm to say he was leaving Guang Ling campus and coming to pick me up. Amnesia?

3:15pm: [Telephone conversation]
Biby: Hello, I am at the north gate.
Me (in the middle of mopping my floor): Oh, ummm, you’re there right now?
Biby: Yes, are you ready? Can you come meet me?
Me: I thought you said 4. I was not expecting you to be here yet.
Biby: No, I am here now. Are you free?
Me: Well, I'm in the middle of something right now. Maybe I could be ready in 15 or 20 minutes.
Biby: Ok. I will call you back.

3:40pm: Biby calls back, and I go to meet him at the gate. He is waiting with his new girlfriend and another friend, neither of whom speak English. Biby says, “We will walk to the restaurant. It is not far from here.”

4:30: We arrive at the restaurant (a 45 minute walk) to wait for everyone else to arrive. Biby brings me two cokes and ice cream. Long wait, I’m guessing.

5:30: The other guests start to arrive, some of them classmates, some other friends that I don’t know. I am seated next to one of my students who “has the best English” and is my designated caretaker for the evening.

6:00: The first round of drinks are served. This is important and takes a lot of talking and arguing. Drinking is an important show of manliness, and the “best drinkers” are held in high esteem. Some of the guys don’t really like to drink, but they would lose face if they don’t. From here on out the night is a string of toasts (the central part of any banquet or party) which serves as a competition to see who can drink the most.

The party was mainly guys – there were 4 girls and probably 18 guys. The guys smoked and attempted to down the alcohol while the girls wrinkled their noses and sipped their beer. But I guess there needed to be some girls to show off for. It was okay for me not to drink since I’m a girl. I imagine it would be quite difficult for a guy.

My caretaker translated and explained everything that happened, put food on my plate (a way of showing respect to guests), and apologized for the behavior of his classmates.

7:00pm: As the food dwindled, the room got louder and smokier. The guys around me kept confessing, “I feel faint. I don’t want to drink any more.” They could admit it to me because I was a “outside” person, but after saying it they felt obligated to fill their glasses and make another toast so as not to appear weak. They bragged, showed off their “hip-hop” dance moves, and made a show of draining their glasses. The girls just sat watching and laughing and holding their boyfriend’s cigarettes, acting almost demure. A Chinese girl is supposed to be gentle and quiet and useful. I can’t see that going over so well in America, thank goodness.

8:00pm: After the cake was served, my caretaker suggested that maybe I was ready to go home. The meal was over and even the drinking was slowing down. The guys were now busy with an icing fight. I agreed to leave, as much for my student, who needed an escape from the drinking contests, as for myself. Of course, it had been over 4 hours, and even without drinking I was tired.

I hadn’t really been looking forward to the party, but it really wasn’t bad. It was kind of funny, and it’s interesting to see students outside of class. It reminds me that they have a real life and all kinds of real problems and pressures they face. In some ways they seem like kids still, making a show of impressing their peers but willing to admit to an outsider their desire for guidance and purpose. You can learn a lot just from watching people. And I have to say, China is great for people watching.

Shadows

Sometimes we find ourselves in the shadows. In a shadow the world is not changed, only it looks darker, and it becomes harder to see the sun. Sometimes we stumble, lost in a cloud and wondering if we will ever find our way out. We see only darkness and feel a chill sink into our being. We hear voices that have no faces. We remember the shadow of death, the darkness of despair, and the depth of the long night. We are afraid.

But hopefully we are given grace to realize that this is not all we find in the shadow. Peter, James and John found themselves surrounded by a cloud, and they were also afraid. But they heard a voice that said, “Do not be afraid,” and when they looked up, the saw only One (Mtt 17). The cloud was not darkness and storm but the presence of glory.

Let us remember the shadow of His wings (Ps 34), the shade of the apple tree (Ss 2:3), the cloud on the mountain (Ex 24:15), the shadow of a great rock in the desert (Is 32:2).

“Let us not be afraid of the shadows. Let us not be afraid of the clouds. We often meet Him in thick clouds. The shadow is the shadow of our Beloved. He is very near to the place where His shadow is” (Amy Carmichael).

This is why, though still in the shadow, we can sing.

Windy Season

Spring is the windy season in Yangzhou. Last night I had just gone to bed when the wind started up. I gave up trying to sleep and opened the window over my bed to look out.

Outside my window, the guy’s dormitory stands about 100 feet away with a road in the middle. The space between the buildings became a tunnel, sucking air through in deep gasps. The wind hissed and screamed around the buildings. Though the night was dark, the noise was as loud as daytime. The wind tore at the banners and signs outside the dormitory, whipping them loose. Metal crashed as bicycles fell on top of each other. Papers and trash flew past one direction then were swept back in another, swirling up into the air, hitting the ground, and being lifted away again. The young trees wrestled with the wind and gave way with a bow.

The electricity in the dorms had been off for about half an hour, but the guys were still awake and came out yelling and calling to each other. They scrambled to rescue their clothes hung out to dry that were quickly being swept off the hangers and off into the night. They stood on their balconies, shivering in their pajamas, reveling in the brilliant display of power.

Insightful Grading

I also was looking through some homework where students wrote about how they have changed since senior school. Some were surprisingly insightful.

Some students talked about the new freedoms and responsibilities they now have.

“When I was in senior school, I didn’t know what’s the meaning of “do it
yourself,” because my mother always helped me to do everything except
study. But now, I’ve learned how to wash clothes, clean house, and take
care of myself.”

“I can spend my time more freely. Maybe sometimes I will do something my parents forbid me to do. Because I’m now far away from home. They have no idea about what I’m doing. But I
never mean to hurt them. I love them.”

Many talked about the difficulties of life in senior school.

“In high school, I worked very hard and nearly everyday stayed late for the
lessons. So in the daytime I always went to sleep. Although I knew
that was no efficient, I worried about my lessons. I couldn’t sleep until
midnight. At that time, I felt nervous everyday. I was afraid that I
couldn’t go to a good university. In my free time, I always thought that I
had no interested in anything and was thinking about study, study…”

“I began to work harder for every day we had a lot of homework to do. I began to eat less because I was afraid of being fatter and fatter without chances to do sports. I began to talk less in order to save time, and I began to think my future frequently. That was the hardest
time of my life.”

“Since I was in senior school, my life has changed a lot. For instance, my parents took more care of my studies than ever. They often went to school and communicated with my teachers.
They encouraged me to study hard so that I could go to my ideal college. I
felt nervous all the time. Unfortunately we almost did examinations every
class and every teacher forced us to do their homeworks at the first.
Although we all knew they were good for us, we really needed having a
rest. After all we weren’t robots.
On the other hand, I went home once a month. I missed my parents very much so that I often cried after class. Because my classmates and I often were busy doing homeworks
we were lack of chatting so that our friendship was not good. When I was
at home, my parents didn’t let me watch TV, play with friends and go
shopping. What a pity! Above all, because I did homeworks all the
time, my eyesight was bad. In a word, the life wasn’t good.”

They talked about the things they have learned in university, particularly about how to relate to other people.

“I find the relation between the persons is complex. Maybe we have more
free time to think more. My changes are not the appearance, they are the
minds. I know how to learn from everyone. The others’ advantages and
good things for me to learn, the others’ disadvantages are like a mirror
for me, I can find my own disadvantages.”

“Maybe everyone is selfish and has his or her own personality. Of course I will not like some
kinds of these personalities. I used to go away or keep a distance with such a person. But I know I’m wrong. Everyone has his or her advantages. I must be tolerant and humble.”

A few talked about a vague discontentment or restlessness.

“When I was a high school students, I had many friends…But after I
entered the university, I felt a strong pressure. True friends are fewer and
fewer. I think it’s a pity. Maybe we are grown up, so we can’t communicate with
others so easily.”

“In my senior school, I lived very happy. But since I entered college, I feel lonely. I have too much free time, and if I do the same things every day, I feel boring. Friends are not very care of me as my senior school’s friends, but teachers are friendly. So I want to communicate with
classmates and teachers more.”

“…But there is something bother me. I felt very vacant. I can’t make good use of the most time. We hang around in the campus. There are so little interesting and meaningful activities. Maybe it’s my own fault. I pay little interest in them. Sometimes I think I have been lost in
the forest. I can’t make up my mind to decide which way I can choose and get out
of the forest and see the hope.”

Humorous Grading

I graded about 240 quizzes this week. It was both depressing and hilarious. Depressing, because a lot of the students did really bad. Hilarious because they were very creative in doing so. Often without trying to be. For example…

In class we had talked about some of the different words used to describe dating and love, so I said:
Use the word “crush” in a sentence to show its meaning.

“If you meet with someone you don’t know, and he makes you angry, you can give him a crush.”
“The eggs was crushed when it falls down.”
“A thief ran out of a car and jumped into the crush.”
“If I go to play when I haven’t finished my homework, my parents will crush me.”
“Usually, you go broad, you will find your own country’s culture are crush with foreign country.”

We also talked about childhood and families in China and America. One quiz item said:
Use the word “sibling” in a sentence to show its meaning.

“The girls and the guys in our class are all sibling.” (Yikes, I hope
not!)
“Mother and father sibling their children’s curfew strictly.”
“I don’t know what does the word sibling mean.” (Nice try, but no candy.)
“I’m hankering to have a sibling with me.” (Correct meaning and he actually
used the word “hankering” in his answer! There’s got to be extra credit in
there somewhere.)

Preparations

This weekend we have invited other teachers from the region come to visit for a kind of Saint Patrick’s Day celebration. We are going to be doing lots of cooking. In preparation I bought:
- 3 heads of broccoli
- 7 carrots
- 6 potatoes
- 2 or 3 dozen eggs
- 10 onions
- 700 grams of butter
- 3 packages of sugar
- 70 paper cups
- 1 package of Magnum bars (Do they have these in the US? They’re amazing…)

I felt very healthy buying all the vegetables (have I ever bought so many at once?) but then all the butter and sugar balanced it out…

And speaking of cooking, I would like to thank my aunt Kay for contributing to the fattening up of Team Yangzhou. Her sweet potato recipe has become a favorite dinner and/or desert item. We will probably all die early of heart attacks, but it will be a happy death. :)

In other news, my cousin just got engaged! In Paris, no less.
Also in the last month, three of my friends that I lived with last year got engaged. Yikes! What's happening in the world? By the time I come back everyone I know is going to be well into their third child or something. But I'm happy and excited for everyone nonetheless.

Stagnant

Stinky River (referring to the canal directly behind our apartment building which welcomes us home with its pungent sewage smell) tends to be a reflection of life. I’ve been thinking about that recently. Some days it is a bright reflection of the world above, giving off an illusion of sunshine and cleanness. Other times, it is disturbed and restless when the wind pushes the water back upstream. Or when it is really cold, it looks blacker than normal.

Today Stinky River is green and stagnant. Not fluorescent green like algae, just a dull greenish-gray, its own reflection of the heavy, gray skies. Small pieces of trash float motionless on the surface. The air is so still that the water doesn’t even ripple, yet the water is too dark to hold a reflection.
Maybe it’s the weather. Maybe it’s the time of year, when the warmth has once again receded into a chilly grayness. Life has settled back in and already become monotonous. It’s only the third week and I am already getting bored with teaching. You know if the teacher is bored, it’s a bad sign. My students come in tired and listless and we all leave much the same.

I know you want my life to be exciting. I live in China for goodness sakes. Something interesting or peculiar has got to happen. But this week, I’m just bored. My to-do list sits untouched, with all its tasks seeming too tedious and insignificant to actually complete. I know. Life is just boring sometimes. I’m just ready for some color. Some life. Some sunshine. Some mental stimulation or creative inspiration. I stare out the window, but Stinky River remains motionless.

Advice from a Chinese Doctor

Today I had the fun experience of going to the hospital for the first time in China. Don’t freak out, I'm not dying – it was really more like the university clinic. I’ve had a cold that seems to have turned infection, and since I’ve been doing all the right things (seriously, I have) and it hasn’t helped, I figured I’d try the antibiotic route.
I asked a student today in class if she would go with me, and of course she was willing. In fact, she brought two classmates along for the fun. We walked to the clinic and then wandered down the hall to find a doctor.
We peered into one room, but no, there was already a patient being examined. After a couple of tries we found a free doctor. Actually, two free doctors, since one examining room can hold two doctors, two patients, and apparently as many onlookers as needed. The doctor spoke a few words of English intermixed with Chinese, which my students eagerly translated…all three of them at the same time. The first thing he said was: “You should wear more layers!’
He asked about symptoms, looked down my throat, and poked a glass thermometer in my mouth. “Five minutes,” he said. Those five minutes were probably the funniest. He kept asking questions, which my students would translate, and of course all I could say was, “mmmhmhm.” He asked if I was allergic to penicillin and then he asked how old I was. My students, horrified, said, “You can’t ask that!” We discussed in class that it is impolite to ask a foreigner their age. If I didn’t have a big thermometer under my tongue, I definitely would be laughing. Finally they gave up asking questions and continued to talk about me in Chinese. Several other patients came in and out in the meantime and joined the discussion.
After asking more questions, and prescribing some medicine, the doctor gave a lot of friendly advice. Wear more layers. Drink hot water (actually I’m drinking lots of it). Your apartment is too warm so you feel cold when you go outside. You should lower the temperature so it is more like outside. You should open your windows to change the air. You should wear more layers. Thank you, doctor. Actually, any random person on the street would have given me the same advice. They probably do every day, I just don’t understand it.
We went back down the hall to pay for the medicine (it was 3.5Y, or less than fifty cents) and then pick up the bagful. In China, they aren’t shy about prescribing pills. The doctor followed, telling me a few more times to wear more layers. I was pretty much the highlight of his day. On the way back one student said, “The doctor was very thorough with you. When I go, it is maybe two minutes. But he asked you lots of questions.” They also said, “Is it okay for a doctor to ask about age?” When we got back to my apartment, they read all the boxes and told me what to take when. And they repeated all the friendly advice in case I missed it the first few times.
The good things are (1) they didn’t try to give me an IV, as I’ve heard they’re fond of. (2) I didn’t have to take off any clothes, which would have been highly awkward. (3) The drugs are all reasonable (I looked them up online). (4) I now have some thick, black, extremely foul-tasting cough syrup. Oh wait, this is the good things.
Ah, fun times. Yes, I am still in a foreign country. “Is what it’s like to go to the doctor in America?” my students asked. Ummm, more or less.

Cabbages, Chickens and Freshmen Homework

I was reading over the homework that my freshmen students turned in, and one of them cracked me up. This is a dialogue about an apology and forgiveness situation.

J: Sarah, my kind neighbor, I'm coming to tell you that, that...
S: Oh, what happened, my good friend? You look so upset!
J: My chicken have eaten up your cabbages. I'm very sorry. It's
my fault. I didn't look after my chicken carefully. Will you forgive
me?
S: Forget it. It's nothing serious.
J: Oh, you are so kind.
S: But I also have one thing to tell you. My dog has just bitten your
chicken. Now your poor chicken and my cabbages are all in my dog's
stomach.

Are you laughing? Who thinks of these things? I love students.